There’s a rumor in our colony of Pelratha that the sick and degenerate aliens we share the territory with have finally gone beyond the pale in their perversions. In a hidden cove 17 miles west of the cirathan city of Korgathen, accessible via a wooden stairwell down the cliff, the cirathans set up something called a ‘nude beach’.

What’s worse, the rumors say they’ve tricked thousands of peldak women into participating in their depravity!

The logic the golden-eyed freaks used was sickeningly effective on those unwise to their trickery.

Skin only gets tan when in sunlight. Clothes block sunlight which creates ‘tan lines’. Tan lines are associated with farmers and laborers and are considered ‘unfashionable’. The only way to avoid tan lines is to have one’s entire body exposed to sunlight, therefore nude beaches. In reality, this is incredibly hypocritical because cirathan beauty standards hold tan lines in high regard. Men and women will apply strips of tape to their bodies while sunbathing so most of their skin darkens while specific patterns remain fair. Nevertheless, the deception worked.

Long time readers will know that I had to drop everything to investigate these vile rumors.

When I arrived and saw that everyone was indeed naked, I naturally had to strip as well. To blend in.

What I found was shocking.

About 3,000 residents in the large cove. Cirathans, firryans, monsoorai, peldak males, but very few female peldaks. Those I saw were with their husbands, or hiding in the water.

According to my multi-millennia career of investigative reporting, what probably transpired is groups of peldak women arrived together, wanting full-body tans to help them get boyfriends or please their husbands. Then they saw a firryan girl sunbathing, promptly gave up, and went home.

Overall, a poor rumor. Not worth visiting the cove.