(Protectorate Year 590)

Dear Master

I pray you’re having a wonderful winter, Master! As always, I am Worker Stella May Bribe, Second Daughter of Worker Cosmo Garamin Hutching and Worker Stubbs Wally Farkinsang, Born of the Numanai Spawn Pits on Crown World Y’varda.

As I just learned recently, Y’varda isn’t the endless, verdant farmland I had once thought. Every 32 years, for just a few months, the temperate climate, the rolling plains of grass, and the constant barrage of sunshine will ebb into winter. The vast expanses of pure white snow, the freezing temperatures that chill you to the bone, all the excess plants and animals dying off and reseting the soil for our next 32 years of toil and work, what’s not to love?

Might I say, when you created this world for us so many years ago, you did a fantastic job! Endless farming, endless work, no breaks save for a single rest every three decades. Perfect conditions for Workers!

This year happened to be the snow year, and I was quite excited. I had been hearing about it for months, and all my neighbors in Numanai were diligently working to prepare. We had to do things like stockpile food and bring our animals underground to protect them from the cold. Reinforcing our homes against the heavy snow was also a necessity.

For weeks, my sisters and I would rise bright and early, excitedly pressing our faces against the windows in anticipation for that sweet vista we had only heard about in stories from our elders. But day after day, it never came.

Until it finally did! It was so sudden, one day was a normal, warm, humid day in a summer paradise. The next was a freezing, wet day in a winter wonderland.

My sisters and I ran to go wake our parents, but they were already kneeling in front of the household monument, hands clasped in prayer. The three of us realized our mistake and quickly went to join them in thanks for the fun we were about to have. I’m sure you remember my first letter, about all the trouble we had converting the fireplace. The brick chimney was chiseled and reshaped into a statue of you, one where your eyes and mouth glowed brilliantly whenever there was a fire at your feet.

After morning prayer, we ate breakfast. Because we were between harvests at the moment, we prayed again and partook in second breakfast. Then, because it was the first day of snow and therefore a holiday, we prayed once more and enjoyed third breakfast. After that, we threw on the heavy, cute winter clothes we had spent the last few weeks making, then went off into the snow.

I had wrapped my paws tight with wool socks and leather, and it took a bit of getting used to, but it protected my paw pads from the cold and wet. The rest of me was covered in thick wool jackets, scarfs, waist scarfs, and a hat with two small holes for my horns. Everyone else was similarly dressed, save my little sister, Tergi Vanovier Mesrik, as her batch was made with a total resistance to the cold. She wore her normal work overalls, but with a super cute scarf, rainbow colored.

So we went into the village and played with all the neighbors. Eating snow, fluttering our wings to create small blizzards, collectively using our brains to build a massive snowman of you with sticks as the frame for support. When that was done, we dropped to our knees and prayed to snow-Master, then went off for lunch. We ate outside in the snow, then erected a pair of titanic walls and fortifications to engage in a thousand-slavani-strong snowball fight.

Fantastic fun, I’m sure you’ll hear about it from the letters of all my sisters this year. As for me, I had a bit more of a… ‘unique’ experience.

See, we all spread out into the vast expanse of snow-covered farmland around the village to engage in the time-honored tradition of a snow hunt. It involved finding a secluded spot in the pure white void, then burying ourselves flat in the snow, facing downwards. Because animal brains are small, they don’t know how to react to the sudden drop in temperature, and they go about business as usual. When one of those animals disturbs the snow above you, you shoot up and impale them with your horns! Perfect trap, and then you have a great dinner.

So I went way far out into the field. A spot isolated from all my sisters, so far I couldn’t even see Numanai, or any landmark, on the horizon. It was a good spot, so I wiggled my way beneath the snow until I was totally buried.

There, I waited. And waited. And waited.

It was pretty cold down there in the darkness, but strangely calming. Pretty soon, I didn’t even feel cold anymore, just a strange numbness that washed over me. It was hard to keep my eyes open, I felt so at peace. Despite my body being numb, my heart rate slowing, and my thoughts losing focus, I could feel a distinct warmness on the fabric of my soul. The feeling was fuzzy at first, very indistinct, but as that warmth grew and slowly took shape, I soon recognized it as the radiant embrace of Master herself.

It was an experience that defies description. As my link to my body relaxed, as my senses faded, the only thing I could focus on was Master’s gentle, yet firm, hold over my very soul. We were linked in that way, Master’s always there. I can see why snow-hunts are so popular.

I wasn’t sure how long I hibernated for. Minutes? Hours? Days? All I knew was that I felt something disturb the snow above my head, and all my senses flooded back.

As I used all the strength in my arms to push up, I jerked my head back to try and give an extra meaty stabbing motion through the chest of my prey. “HYAAAAA!!” I screamed out in warcry.

I felt a weight as I went up, which only encouraged me to continue lifting. What was it? A squirrel? A lost lamb? Perhaps I’m such a great hunter that I accidentally caught a daff-rabbit years before my adulthood ritual! I looked up, excitement shining clearly on my face, and…!

I was face to snout with a bear.

A real bear.

A giant, furry, brown bear whose paw rested atop my head, and whose face looked none too pleased at my antics.

See, because winter only happens once every few decades, there’s no need to hibernate. I failed to consider that running into a violent bear like this was even possible.

I gave him my most apologetic smile, only to realize his giant paw was still on my head. A thin little spurt of bright red blood ran down my horn and plinked onto my hair. I stabbed him in the paw, but my horn could only penetrate so deep into his thick skin.

“O-oh, um… hello, Mr. Bear.” I pursed my lips, he simply looked down at me. “S-sorry about that. I just, you know, was trying to hunt. Ah! Let me get that for you, sir.”

Carefully, I reached up and pulled his paw off my horn. Turning his giant, furry, powerful, deadly forearm over so I could get a look at the damage, I wiped the small blood trail away with my gloved hand, then spat on the wound to help clear it up.

“S-see? No harm done. Good as new!”

But the bear didn’t avert his eyes. I instantly realized that this dumb, savage creature wasn’t bright. Because he didn’t know that saliva closes wounds, from his perspective, a stranger just stabbed him in the hand and then spat on him.

That wasn’t good.

That being said! I’m an expert in survival so I knew what to do! For a brown bear like this, it’s best to make yourself seem bigger. Too big a target for him to bother with.

I jumped up and raised my arms as high as they would go, shaking them about while stomping my paws and fluttering my wings in an intimidating display of strength and confidence. “Raaawr! You better back up, bear!” I said in my deepest voice, “I’m not some prey who won’t fight back, I’m a big scary Slavani! You’d best clear outta here before I get really mad, raaaawr!”

The bear seemed to sigh, then slowly got on his hind legs and raised to his full height. He towered above the snow, and the sun came out from behind a cloud just for him to cast a shadow over me.

“…rawr?” This was when I realized an unfortunate fact about our creation. I’m thin and short, I won’t intimidate anyone by trying to act big. That’s the purview of the Soldiers, not cute little Worker Strains like myself.

But then, the bear took a deep breath in, pulled back slightly, then lunged his top half forward while emptying his lungs in a single mighty roar! “ROOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!” His breath smelled like the many dead animals he’s personally killed, any snow left on my head evaporated from the heat, and drops of saliva and drool sprayed on my face. When he finished, he returned to his full, intimidating height.

“…” I looked up at him.

“…” He looked down at me.

It was then I realized something. This dumb bear didn’t know winter was coming, so he probably didn’t stockpile food like we genius Slavani did. He was probably hungry. He wanted food. The forests were dead and covered in snow; there was no food for him to find. I had breakfast, second breakfast, third breakfast, and lunch.

I’m food.

While his cold eyes stared into me, he licked his lips, showing off his massive, razor-sharp bear teeth.

I gulped hard.

He was gonna eat me…

So in a moment of clear thinking and tactical ingenuity, I kicked him in the bear-nuts as hard as I could, then turned tail and fled!

“AAAAAH!” I screamed as I trudged my way through the snow as fast as my legs could carry me. My strong, fluttering wings thankfully made me a lot lighter and helped me run faster.

After a few yelps and whimpers from the bear, he roared once more and chased after me! I turned my head as I fled across the wide-open landscape. He was far behind, and I could tell he was getting further and further away. I was escaping! His movements were a bit sluggish and weird, I could tell he wasn’t used to trudging through snow, his massive, lumbering form just made him sink.

I continued back in the direction of the town, my heart racing from the excitement and danger of it all. I fought a bear and survived! He got the drop on me, but I still drew first blood and even beat him up so badly he couldn’t give chase. Workers besting large animals like him in one-on-one combat is unheard of, but I still did it.

Just call me Stella May Bribe ‘the Bear Slayer’!

Then, I stepped on something hard beneath the snow.

“HYYYYAAAAAA!” The girl under me screamed as she forced herself up and yanked her head back for an extra stabbing motion. Thankfully I stepped on her head between the horns, so I wasn’t stabbed, but due to the momentum, I was thrown face first into the snow.

My sister patted her horns. “Huh? What happened? I could have sworn I felt something… Am I not doing this snow-hunt right?”

I pulled myself up and we turned to face each other. I learned it was my actual sister, Tergi.

“Oh! Stella? What are you doing here? Have you already caught something?”

“B-b-b-bear-bear!” I cried.

“Bare?” She looked down at herself and scratched the back of her head while giving a shy, embarrassed smile. For some reason, she wasn’t wearing clothes. Just out in nothing but her fur. “W-well yeah. Our parents wouldn’t let me go outside naked but, you know, my batch was made for resistance to the cold! It’ll be another 30 years before I have another chance to show off my Master-given talent.”

“N-no!” I grabbed her horns and turned her around. My hand shot forward and I pointed to the charging beast, “bear!”

Tergi’s eyes went wide, “AAAAH!” We scrambled to our paws and started sprinting towards home. “What’s a bear doing here!?”

“I dunno, it just came out of nowhere!”

“Why’s it chasing you? Bears aren’t normally mean like this.”

“I… I’m totally innocent. I did nothing to him!”

She looked back again, “why’s it running so weird?”

“What’s with all these questions?! Just run!”

We continued on towards Numenai and soon I saw it on the horizon. As our home came more into view, I turned to Tergi. “We still have bear spray at home, right?”

“Yeah, I saw it last night, in the cabinet.”

“Okay, so we run in, you grab the spray, and while I hide upstairs, you can stalwartly face down the bear and make it flee.” I gave her a supportive pat on the back.

Tergi pursed her lips, “actually, we can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“The door’s locked, remember? If we try to unlock the door, that bear is gonna catch up to us and eat us!”

“Oh no…” I turned around, and the bear was gaining on us! His running looked natural now, so I guess it was getting used to running in the snow. “Oh no! It’s running faster now! S-so what’s the plan?”

I looked at her, she looked at me, then she winked.

“Good luck!” She stuck her leg out and tripped me!

“Ack!” I fell into the snow once more and quickly scrambled back up.

“Keep him busy, okay?” Tergi hopped onto the porch and started fiddling with the lock.

“Keep him busy? By letting him eat me?” I screamed as I started running around the house, dodging this way and that, using my wings to hop over the bear as he came in for vicious swipes, “WAAAH!”

“No, not by letting him eat you.” She looked back and saw that I had somehow made it onto the bear’s back, desperately gripping his fur as he tried to throw me off and scratch at me. “Just like that, you’re doing a great job… Uhh… what’s the combination?”

“Y-you don’t know!?” I screamed as I threw myself to the side as the bear charged right into our fence.

“I forgot! Sorry! The hint says the combination is the year Master was born.”

“Year 0000! Everyone knows that!”

The bear was roaring and screaming this whole time, drool and foam savagely dripping from his mouth. I got the idea to use my wings to flutter up to the roof, and I landed up there with a soft crunch of the snow underpaw.

I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself, but then the bear climbed up after me. “AHH!” I yelled as I jumped off and landed deafly on the ground. “Bears can climb!?”

Tergi put in the code and the lock clicked. “There we go,” she calmly said as she opened the door. “Just another moment.”

I made a b-line for the door, dodging past the vicious swipes of the angry bear, and jumped inside. I slammed the door shut, but it was only a temporary reprieve as the bear started slamming against the wood, cracking the door in places and even fracturing the frame.

“Y-you got it!?” I cried. The bear broke through a slit in the wood frame, “aaah!” Then he stuck his bear face against the wide slit and screamed at me!

“RRROOOOAAARRR!”

I had to jump away from the  door as the bear stuck his meaty arm through and tried to catch me.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Tergi casually walked over with a purple candle, a match, and a small bag of magically compressed air. She lit the purple candle of bear repellent, then opened the bag just enough to spray the purple smoke in the bear’s face as he poked his head through the slit. His many intimidating snarls and roars proved to be his downfall, as the smoke got in his nostrils, passed down his throat, and dyed his eyes a sickly, dark purple.

He immediately pulled away and started hacking and coughing. All his efforts to rub the bear repellent out of his face were worthless, and he couldn’t stop sneezing! Before long, he ran away with his stubby tail between his legs. Based on how much he inhaled, he’d have a hard time breathing for at least two hours.

“Ha!” I opened up the door and proudly shook my fist at him. “That’s what you get for trying to mess with your betters, beast!” Maybe if he had a God as kind and as caring as you, Master, he could have successfully gotten us. Sadly for him, you created his species just to make your children look better when we inevitably conquer them.

I went back in the room and gave my sister a high five.

“Actually,” she said, “what’s bear taste like?”

I thought about it for a second and my mouth began to water. “Probably really juicy.”

“Yeah, bears are fat. I bet if you made a sandwich then the bread would get soaked in all of that greasy fat.” My sister licked her lips.

“It’d definitely be the best catch out of everyone on the snow-hunt!”

“Yeah!”

I paused for a second and let my hunger guide my decision making. “Let’s go for it!”

“Let’s catch a bear!”

“Whooooooo!!” We screamed in unison as we raised our fists to the sky.

So, we grabbed our spears, our padded armor, we went outside and followed the bear’s tracks. Then I promptly stepped on our neighbor and got a horn through the paw.

…kinda put a damper on things.

Out of all that wide open space, I just so happened to step in exactly the wrong spot? I have to assume you were trying to send me some kind of message, Master. Did you not want us to hunt that bear? We definitely would have killed it, so maybe he was important to your plans or something? I can’t think of any other reason why you’d be against our grand snow hunt.

Oh well. We may not have gotten bear meat, and I may have gotten a giant hole through my paw that put me out of commission for a few days, but at least playing in the snow was fun. And hey! I thought the bear story would be interesting for you, Master. Everyone knows how much your third incarnation hated bears, so seeing one get your prized bear repellent right to the face must have been pretty cathartic.

Always yours

-Worker Stella May Bribe, Second Daughter of Worker Cosmo Garamin Hutching and Worker Stubbs Wally Farkinsang, Born of the Numanai Spawn Pits on Crown World Y’varda.

P.S. my attempts to be called ‘the bear slayer’ didn’t pan out, and I’m a little disappointed with that.