(Protectorate Year 350)

Dear Master

I’m not a coward. Let it be known that Worker Ryobi Rapani Renizoku, Third Daughter of Worker Bevern Dylan Corsuk and Worker Rebury Ijaw Mantal, Born of Spawn Pit 17 on Homeship Master’s Inevitability, is a brave Slavani who managed to shoot her shot when all the chips were on the table! It might have taken me a bit of time to get going, but when it mattered, when I saw my opportunity, I went for it.

I talked a big game, last letter. I met the Slavani of my dreams and I wouldn’t stop until she was mine! She’s perfect. Beautiful, smart, authoritative, rich, has common sense, and is, most importantly, single! I had so many plans about how I’d court her, but none came to pass.

It’s not that they failed, it’s that I was too scared to try them. Ask her out directly? Too scared. Accidentally bump into her then strike up a conversation? Lost my nerve. Compliment her in passing every so often so she associates me with praise? What if she thinks I’m being creepy, I can’t risk it!

If you need a refresher because my last letter… wasn’t particularly well written, then early last year I got a job at a factory. The Protectorate-Empire killed a lot of us a few years before I was spawned and now we have to give them food, but they’ve also demanded that we put their ransom in metal containers called ‘cans’. The factory is where we put the food into those cans for shipment.

The boss of this factory is Worker Berri Lavelion Edichi, and she is absolutely the most perfect Slavani in all of existence. No nonsense, the boss, she outsmarts even Casters, she makes deals with Assassins without flinching, she’s tamed Soldiers! She understands well the heart of her many sisters, and we all love her for it.

Despite all that, she’s somehow single and I was hoping I could fix that.

But it’s been months and I’ve made no progress…

Until a few days ago, that is. I finally got off my butt, got a nice little dress, got apple scented perfume, then marched down to the factory to meet my destiny.

I walked up to her on the factory floor while she was fixing a dispute between two Workers. “B-bo-boss!”

“Yeah, Ryobi?” She turned to me. “Oh, that dress looks nice on you.”

My cheeks turned a bright red under my fur and I couldn’t stop my ears from wiggling. How smoothly and nonchalantly she complimented my dress, how could I have been prepared for that?. “Th-thank you. Boss. Umm…” There were so many sisters around, there’s no way I could have confessed there. “Could I talk to you in your office real quick?”

“Sure. The door’s unlocked, I’ll see you when I’m finished here.”

I gave her a polite bow and scurried away before I lost my nerve.

Sitting in her office, in front of her desk, I was alone with my thoughts and anxiety. How was I going to word this again? I planned it a hundred times in the mirror the night before, but my mind was drawing a blank. I think it was… remind her who I am, praise her a lot… then say I like her? If only I could have remembered the exact wording, I’d be able to stop my heart from pounding against the inside of my ribcage.

When the door behind me opened, I sat up straight in my chair and gave Berri a polite smile as she got comfortable behind her desk. The office was so small and cozy, she was only a few feet away from me, I could reach out and hug her.

“What seems to be the problem?” She asked with a polite, business-like smile. I think that’s the reason she’s still single. She doesn’t go after anyone else and she has this intense aura of work ethic. No messing around, we need to do everything we can in this life for Master. Playtime is for when we join Her in heaven.

“Ah, well,” seeing this aura up close, an intense wave of doubt washed over me, “not a ‘problem’, exactly…” I felt in my heart that I was about to be rejected. “So, I’ve been working here since last year.”

She nodded, her beautiful, thick eyelashes temporarily commanding my attention as she blinked. “You’ve been a great help.”

Ow, my heart! It wasn’t fair how easily she could do that… “Thank you. You, similarly, have been a great boss. Very helpful getting me accustomed to this factory and how you do things.” My eyes glanced around the room, desperate to avoid looking her in the eyes for more than a few seconds. You really outdid yourself, Master, her face is so much more handsome than everyone else’s, the structure and symmetry set perfectly under such prominent horns. Much better than a plain face like mine… not that I’m complaining about how you made me look! “So, you know, I was wondering…” I took one last look at her face, and Master, she’s so patient. Even with my stuttering, she didn’t show a hint of hesitation as she waited for me to get my thoughts together.

My mind raced at a million miles an hour.

‘What am I doing? Why am I trying? I know she’s going to reject me, it’s disgusting that I’m putting her in a position where she has to break her subordinate’s heart. I’m so selfish. All I thought about was me, and what I wanted, but I didn’t give a second’s thought to how Berri would feel about my confession. I can’t do it. I can’t go through with this.’

I put my head down and looked to the side. “I was wondering if I could take more shifts at work…” I knew I’d chicken out, so I prepared that cover in advance.

“Oh, well if you want to then-“

WHAM!

The door to Berri’s office was kicked open and my whole body jumped from the shock! I whipped my head around and it was a Caster standing in the doorway, a folder full of papers in her hand.

“Hey!” She yelled, her voice harsh and spiteful.

“Ha! I caught you!” Caught her? Her anger was directed at Berri. Caught her doing what?

“You liar!” Liar? What would Berri ever lie about?

“You cheat!” WHAT?! Cheat?! Berri’s a cheater? This whole time she had not just one girlfriend, but several? What is happening? Who is this woman and… aw crap, she looks stunning. Those robes compliment her hair, and her hip-to-waist ratio is a work of art, how am I supposed to compete with that?

“Did you think you’d be able to fool a Caster like me? Laughable.” Okay, I just need to calm down. This is a Caster and a Worker we’re talking about, what are the odds they’re actually dating?

“You had no idea I was working under you yesterday.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

“Watching.” WATCHING?! Watching her doing what?! Wait, if Berri had no idea this girl was under her… just how many girls were with her? There had to have been enough for Berri to not notice her!

“Biding my time. You were tricked!” Tricked into doing what? Why do I feel so lightheaded and numb?

“Hahahahaha!” ha…ha…ha… I want to cry.

The Caster tossed the files perfectly onto the desk. What kind of blackmail is in there? Pictures? It’s probably pictures of Berri with dozens of different girls, maybe hundreds, each prettier than me…

“I know what you’ve done.” I know too…

“Master knows what you’ve done. Soon, the authorities will know what you’ve done,” THE AUTHORITIES!? What does she mean? Master can certainly judge her for cheating, but what’s that got to do with the feds? Unless… Berri is a smart, competent leader, does this mean all those women she’s cheating with are part of her criminal gang!? They go around, smashing up mailboxes and seducing wives? That’s horrible!

“So make things easier on yourself and fess up now!” Fess up? Why would Berri need to fess up if this Caster knows that she’s been cheating on her? Unless… Oh no! I get it! Berri was cheating on an unrelated girl and that girl hired this Caster to find out! That’s why this Caster said that she tricked Berri, she tricked Berri into cheating on her girlfriend with this Caster. She ‘watched’ Berri do it with a hundred girls or more. The folder must be full of proof. I don’t want to see those photos… I don’t think my heart can take it.

“It’ll be easier for everyone if you do.” Speak for yourself. I just want Berri to deny it. Maybe this is a mistake?

“Now goodbye, scum.” She turned and left. The door slowly creaked close, and the room was left with silence.

I looked back at Berri. She was sitting back in her seat and covering her mouth, trying to suppress a giggle.

“…” I figured maybe I could just deny the reality of what was going on. “Wow!” I said with a smile, turning back to Berri. “Who was that girl anyway? What a whackjob. Did she have you confused for someone else? Lol.”

“No, I remember her from yesterday.”

It felt like the Homeship suddenly tilted to the side. My sense of balance and stability was gone.

Berri leaned forward on the table, her face showing a genuine concern that made it clear how easily she could seduce thousands of girls. “You feeling alright?”

“N-nev-never better.”

“Ah, not used to a Caster running in and screaming her head off, are you?” She calmly grabbed the folder and opened it with an amused smirk on her face. “You get used to it.”

“You get used to it?! How often does that happen?”

“Every few weeks or so.” I had no idea Berri was this much of a stud, getting girls left and right. I realized that, maybe if she has a massive harem, she’d let me join, but my shoulders slacked after I thought it. What a lonely life. I want her all to myself, not to just be another face. “But hey, let’s see what evidence she faked and have a nice laugh about it, ey?”

“…Faked?” My ears perked up as a small spark of hope was lit in my chest.

“Of course. It’s all a big circular game. Casters start blaming each other for missing food, it goes round and round and round, and eventually it comes down here.” She started reading one of the papers.

“…Food?” My ears rose higher, the corners of my mouth began to wobble.

“Haha!” She rolled back in her chair. “These are the worst numbers I’ve ever seen! Why are they so high? If her warehouse really stole this much, that goes way beyond the pale of just a snack here and there.”

“…I’m sorry, what’s happening?”

Berri raised an eyebrow. “Ah, you wouldn’t know. That Caster who burst in came here yesterday, she wanted to steal documents from this factory. We tricked her to give us a day of free labor though, haha. She then stole this file here,” she waved the folder, “and faked a bunch of numbers really poorly.”

“That’s… not good. What are we gonna do about that?”

She shrugged. “Nothing.” She reached under her desk and I heard her spin a combination lock, then she pulled out another folder. “The real numbers are here, she stole a decoy set. Casters aren’t smart enough to realize a Worker has tricked them, so it works every time.” She put the real documents back.

“Wait, but we do steal food in this factory, won’t somebody notice?”

“Nah, we just blame Assassins on that. How could we be proved wrong? Assassins are a bunch of dirty, socially incompetent little thieves. Nobody will question it.”

Oh Master, Berri is so smart it hurts. I never would have thought of that. In fact, I never would have even realized we needed to explain what happens to the food we steal. Are there people who track that?

“I see.” I squirmed in my seat. “One last question. Do you, or do you not, have multiple different secret girlfriends who live in separate sections of the Homeship?”

She narrowed her brow and looked at me for a second, as if to confirm what she thought she heard. “I do not.”

‘GO!’ My mind screamed. ‘It doesn’t matter if I get rejected, just go for it! It felt so awful when I thought she was with other people, I need to take this chance before someone steals her for real!’

“THEN!” I said, my voice louder and higher pitched than I expected. “Would you like to go out with me with the idea of marriage and possibly raising a newly-spawned in mind?” My eyes were constricted to pinpoints. My hands tightly gripped the arms of the chair, all my muscles were flexed in preparation for the rejection. But despite my fear, I wouldn’t flinch or look away. No matter her answer, I’d face her response head on.

“Sure.”

“YEEEEES!!” I jumped from my chair with my arms outstretched! I did it Master! I finally built up the backbone to go for it. It was rough, I had doubts, but when the time came, I did it.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow after our shift,” she said. “I assume you have a place in mind?”

“…A place? Y-yeah!” I gave her two thumbs up as I lied through my teeth. I never expected to make it this far, of course I didn’t have a place in mind. “Don’t worry, I have a great place in mind. Indeed, I was so confident about your answer that I ordered reservations for two already, hahaha. Uh, yeah. So you’re a busy factory manager, I’ll leave you to it… have a good day.” I nodded, and she gave a wave as I left.

And there you have it, that’s the story of how I got myself a girlfriend.

I’d like to give special thanks to you, Master, and that Caster who barged in, whom I’m sure you manipulated in order to help me. If it weren’t for you two, I’d have chickened out like usual. But because of her interruption I was spurred into action, and it all went well.

…So far. I’m writing this just before she’s set to arrive for our date, so I guess it could all go horribly wrong.

I’m sure it’ll be fine though.

Thanks again, Master

-Worker Ryobi Rapani Renizoku, Third Daughter of Worker Bevern Dylan Corsuk and Worker Rebury Ijaw Mantal, Born of Spawn Pit 17 on Homeship Master’s Inevitability.