For the next few days, my job in the mansion was simple. Enter a room, try to clean it, get bored, move to the next. Sometimes I napped, sometimes I swung my broom like a staff, other times I just couldn’t be bothered to work so I immediately went to find another room. They didn’t let me cook anymore for ‘budget reasons’, so bob made me breakfast, lunch, and dinner around the same time every day.
When I went to the recreational room, I played pool as I waited for time to pass. When I went to the study, I rearranged all the books on the wall-sized bookcase to make a color gradient.
I entered the smoking room, and the lady was there, reading a book as she breathed on a tube connected to a glass bowl with a small bit of fire in the center. This fire was the only light in the smoke-filled room, giving the room a dark haze. There were six large chairs arranged around the central smoke apparatus, each a dark red color. The carpet and walls were a similar color, and there wasn’t much decoration. This was clearly a room where you sat around and chatted with your friends.
“Good morning, Ribbee.”
“Hello. Am I interrupting something?”
“Not at all, feel free to go about your usual activities.”
“Mh’kay.” I began slapping the broom bristles against the carpet, the force of my swings kicking up a small tornado in the smoke.
“…what are you doing?”
“Cleaning.” I said, my voice dry and devoid of all enthusiasm. I managed to walk a full circle around the chairs, then I sat down on the chair opposite the lady. “Aaaah… brutal stuff… so what is this smoke? It smells funny.”
But she didn’t answer me. She just looked at me as if I had four horns. “What… are you doing now?”
“Taking a break.”
“…already?”
“‘Already’? That little sprint right there was my new personal best! I thought maybe if I showed off in front of you, you’d praise me. Or something.”
“Praise you? I could do more than that. I thought you Slavani had good work ethic!” Her posh accent was kinda cute when flustered and mad.
“I have a great work ethic when I’m assigned Soldier jobs.” I slapped my palm for emphasis. “Cleaning is a job for a Worker, or a Drone. It’s too dull and monotonous for me. I wanna puke every time I pick up this broom.”
She raised an eyebrow, “what’s the difference? Work is work. I thought your strains were just a caste system, just to denote which caste you’re in, not that there were actually differences between you all.”
“No!” My face coiled in a mixture of confusion and disgust. “I’m not the same as a Worker, or a Caster, and I’m definitely not the same as an Assassin! There are differences in the structure of our very souls! I literally wasn’t designed to do this kind of work. Would you eat soup with a fork? No. That tool wasn’t designed for that purpose.”
She sighed, then put her head in her hands, “I… what a waste of time… wait,” she looked up at me, “so you’ve had this low work ethic every time you cleaned a room this last week?”
“Sometimes even lower. For a few rooms I just looked at the mess, realized it was hopeless, then walked out. Or I just didn’t feel like it.”
“Ohh… my estate is falling apart. I spent all that money to capture a Slavani, satiated her appetite for a week, but I got the wrong one! I’ll have to pay to capture a new one, but how expensive will that be? I didn’t even get to eat Slavani food for all my efforts…”
“Hey, come on.” I walked over to her chair and put a hand on her back, “it’s not that bad, cheer up! Who cares about how expensive it’ll be? How about I just go back to the den and invite some Workers? I’ll be back before the day’s out.”
She looked up at me, the distress in her eyes paving the way for confusion. “You would go back to your den… and enslave your friends..?”
“Enslave? I don’t know what that- I mean..! yes! Haha, yeah, sure! I’ll enslave them. All of them. Heck, I mean, we enslave each other all the time, right? What’s a little enslave between friends?” I playfully hit her shoulder, hoping she wouldn’t notice my ignorance on this particularly topic. I hate when humans look down on me. Having this lady explain to me what a word means when she’s already distressed would be the worst.
She narrowed her brow, and for a second I thought she caught on, but then she sighed. “Very well, Ribbee. Take bob and a cart we keep around back and go get a few Workers.” She looked away and mumbled, “it’s not like it matters if you run away. You can’t cook, you can’t clean, you’re just eating up my food budget…”
I felt like I was being disrespected, but she was properly fooled so I accepted the win and hurried away. “Don’t worry, boss, I’ll bring a whole load of Workers back! Enough to take care of this whole mansion.” I started running down the hallway, but then I stopped. I slowly backed up to the door, “hey, umm, if I get Workers for you, are you going to fire me?”
“That’s not how enslavement works.” She spoke dryly. “I don’t fire slaves.”
My ears perked, “excellent! Then maybe my next job could be patrolling the premises or something. See you later, boss.”
I ran down the hall once again, found bob, explained the situation, then we got the cart and went off. Bob too was quite annoyed with my lack of cleaning skill, but he can only blame himself. I introduced myself as a Soldier, it’s their fault for not understanding what that meant.
At least I got to see the countryside since I wasn’t in a sack this time.
Very… poor. This human nation just wasn’t up to snuff. So much undeveloped land, unkempt wilderness. Nothing at all like the verdant forests of Minruube, which are kept in line with the expansive magics of the Casters.
We came across a sign on the side of the road, written in Slavani script, and had a picture of a dead human with X’s over its eyes as a Slavani stood proud over it.
Bob sighed, then brought the human-beast (different horse from the one which bowed his head a week back) to a halt. “Here we are. Slavani lands.”
“Yep.” I nodded.
“I’ve always wondered what those signs say.”
“It says ‘no non-sisters allowed. Stay away, unless if you’re a convert. Or you’re bringing food tribute. Or if you’re a guest. Or if-‘ and then the words trail off ‘cause they ran out of room.”
“Ah, I see. Well, off you go, bring back a few Workers.” He gestured to the trail before us.
“Eh? The den’s miles from here, I’m not walking that far.”
“And I’m not walking in that forest! Slavani territory? No way, not happening. You people are freaks who kill anyone who steps foot onto your lands. Do you know why capturing you was so expensive? Cause most people die when they head in there. You have to pay a lot to make it worth the risk.”
“Pfft, ‘die’. More like intruders see our perfect society and don’t want to leave.”
“No, they die. Assassin strains, I think they’re called, come out of the trees and the ground. They set up traps and kill anyone who enters their lands. I’ve seen it. Horrible. Horrible ways to die, and the bodies were arranged as a warning to all others…” bob started shaking, it must have really got to him.
“Hey, bob, relax! I’m here. The sign says guests can enter, and you’re my guest, so you’re good.”
“…I guess.” He took a moment, then fwipped the horse’s reigns and we pulled off.
“Minruube won’t have any Workers outside, we have to go all the way to the den for them. Just stay on this road and we’ll eventually find the hole that leads down into it.”
“Got it…”
The horse trotted along the well-maintained dirt road. Every so often, we were stopped by an eager Soldier who demanded to know what was going on.
“I’m here to collect a few Workers and take then to a magical land full of fun and food! We need to pass.” I’d say to the checkpoints.
“Fun and food?” The Soldiers would say. “I like fun and food. Can I come?”
“Are you a Worker?” I’d reply.
“No.” They’d answer.
“Then it won’t be fun for you.” And with that, each Soldier rolled their eyes and let us pass.
That process repeated itself about 20 times. Being set between two human kingdoms isn’t safe, it’s only natural for Minruube to have so many patrols guarding the surface.
The more pressing issue was the Assassins. Bigger weirdo’s I’ve never seen, with their bone masks and anti-social tendencies. Like 8 times I turned around to see one or two standing on our cart, watching, waiting, motionless. Poor bob nearly jumped out of his skin a few times. To deal with the Assassins, I just had to call them by their first name, then they got all fussy and embarrassed for having their identity revealed in front of a human.
“Ribbeeeee..! You can’t just reveal me like thaaaaat! It’s not cool!” They’d say while stomping their paws.
“It’s not cool how you nearly gave my guest a heart attack.” I’d narrow my brow.
“No, that’s funny cause they’re a human and they deserve it… bah,” they’d wave us off, “it’s not even worth it anymore. You ruined it.” Then they’d vanish into the forest around us.
Each time, I’d have to pat bob on the back for emotional support. The poor human sure didn’t like Assassins, but I guess I can’t blame him.
We reached the entrance of the den before long. In the middle of a large clearing in the forest, with well maintained grass and flower bushes placed strategically around the place, there was a large mound of dirt. Atop this dirt was a massive tree that stretched hundreds of feet into the sky, and built into the side of this mound were eight large stone entrances that led to staircases down into the den.
“We’ve arrived. You stay out here; I’ll head inside and collect a few Workers for us.”
“Are… you sure that’s a good idea?” He curled his shoulders forward and looked to the tree line. “If you’re not with me, won’t that mean I’m marked for death?”
“Yes. But don’t worry!” I jumped off the cart and silently landed on the soft grass. “I’ll give you the tip to deal with Assassins. So long as you keep your eyes shut, they won’t hurt you.”
“Just keep my eyes shut? That’s it? Why?”
“Because, as Assassins would say,” I tightened my face, squinted, and lowered my voice to reflect the ‘cool, dangerous’ style of the Assassins. “I want you to remember the boney face which sent you to the next life.” I turned my voice to normal, “they won’t kill you until you get a look at their bone mask, so just close your eyes and you’re golden. Have fun! And remember, keep your eyes shut if you don’t want to die.”
Bob gulped, then kept his eyes closed tight, his knuckles turned white as he held onto the horse’s reigns. I ran through one of the den’s entrances and quickly made my way down to one of the upper floors.
The Minruube den is one of tight tunnels and one-way hallways, very claustrophobic for those unaccustomed to traversing it. As I made my way through, the puffy black sleeves on my uniform brushed against both walls at once. These hallways would occasionally run along the sides of grand meeting halls or theatre rooms, and in those instances, the wall is made of glass so we can look out.
As a Soldier, it’s my right to go the wrong way on purpose and make the Workers turn around to accommodate me. They tend to pout and get mad when I do it, but they’re powerless to stop us. Because our den is in such a precarious situation, set between two human kingdoms, we Soldiers have the priority. It’s a matter of den security, after all.
I walked around for a bit and eventually came across one of the many storerooms that dot the upper levels. Racks full of spears, armor, shields, boxes full of food, a small break room with tables and chairs, and a bookcase. Delivering a load of newly built weapons was a team of a dozen Workers.
“Idiot!” One of the girls, Xeres, stomped her paw. “Does this spear look longer than this one!?” She held two spears of vastly different length and showed them off to her sister.
“We’re not organizing them by length, moooorooooon, we’re setting them by color! In a rainbow fashion!” The other Worker, Gebbi, said with her teeth clenched tight in anger.
“Why would we do that though!? There’s not even an indigo spear!” Xeres’s eyes burned bright with passion, and behind her stood five sisters, all nodding, with their arms crossed.
Five sisters stood behind Xeres, all nodding to support their leader.
“Then go make an indigo spear the next time you get down to the forge. We organize things by color in this den. The fact that we have no indigo in this batch of weapons is meaningless.” Gebbi’s eyes were sharp and full of an icy-cold hatred. Behind her, five Workers crossed their arms and nodded.
I closed the door behind me and it latched shut. This drew everyone’s eyes towards me, “hi, Ribbee,” they said in unison. I waved in response.
“It’s good to see you again,” Gebbi said.
“Yeah, I thought you died or something. Haven’t seen you in like a week.” Xeres rubbed the back of her head.
“Nah,” I said, “I’ve just had a lot of things going on. So-“
“Cool!” Xeres turned her body towards me, her hands on her hips with a confident smile. “So, since you’re here, be the tiebreaker for us. Do we organize these spears by color, or by length?”
Gebbi’s steely eyes turned to me, as did the ten other Workers who had chosen a side before I arrived.
“Is this even a question?” I asked, “you go by color.”
“Bah!” Xeres waved me off, “well who asked you!?”
Gebbi raised her chin and looked down her nose at her sister, “you did. You included this outsider to our discussion, and now it’s seven-six. We coordinate by color.”
I nodded, “and obviously, it’s black, ROYGBIV, then white.”
A disgusted silence filled the room, they all turned their attention to me, their eyes rounded in shock and disgust.
“Are you an idiot?”
“Idiot-Soldier.”
Gebbi covered her mouth and had to look away, “I… think I’m going to vomit…”
“That’s just wrong, it was a mistake to ask you!”
“Y-you can’t put black first!” Xeres screamed, her hands tightened into fists, “i-it’s a heavier color! It has to be in the back, by violet!”
“I think that automatically disqualifies her opinion, and thus we should go with length.”
I crossed my arms and tapped my paw, letting my long claws clink against the tiled floor. “I dunno about all that. Just look at the acronym. WROYGBIVB, or BROYGBIVW? Broy-g-biv-wee just sounds better, sorry.” I could see on their faces that my unparalleled logic was met not with understanding of its superiority, but anger and jealousy. They disagreed not out of genuine disapproval, but out of a misplaced sense of pride. “Wait, nevermind! This is irrelevant! For the past week I’ve been on an adventure of fun and friendship, and I’m inviting Workers. Would you like to come along?”
Instantly, their faces softened, their eyes were filled with a strong sense of curiosity.
“Fun?” Gebbi said, her eyebrow raised.
“Well…” Xeres pondered for a second, “I like fun.”
“And friendship is cool too…”
“And only for us Workers?”
“Wait, now that I think about it, is that why you’re dressed in such strange, cute clothes?”
They all dropped the subject of organizing weaponry and studied my dress. The long skirt, the apron, the cute frills, it gave me an ‘elegant, refined’ look that none of them could hope to match with their blue overalls. It wasn’t long before they all rushed over for more details.
“Tell us! Tell us!” They chanted.
I waited for a moment to make sure they were properly enthused… then I spoke. “Okay, so there’s this stupid human that’ll give you free food and a massive bed all to yourself. The only thing you have to do is clean. That’s it! It’s such a sweet deal, wanna join?”
Their eyes sparkled in delight from such an offer, but Gebbi was more reserved. “How much free food?”
“A lot!” I quickly responded.
The girls were a little apprehensive at first, but caution gave way to excitement, and it wasn’t long before they pushed me out of the room and followed me through the hallways in a conga line. There was no room to move in these hallways, so rather than dance, the group settled for wagging their tails and singing a little tune about all the food they’d get.
We reached the surface and I, as the Soldier, walked out first to make sure there was no danger which could hurt the Workers. There was none, but there were a dozen Assassins crowding around bob. He had his elbows on his knees and was covering his eyes with his hands. Despite being so much taller and bulkier than the group around him, he quaked with fear and didn’t move an inch. Some Assassins stood around him, menacingly, casting shadows over his body, while others tried to get him to open his eyes.
“Oh Master, what is that!” An Assassin screamed as she pointed in the distance. The other Assassins looked to the tree line, as did I and the Workers, but bob didn’t look up from his hands. “Mhmm…” The Assassin grumbled at her failure.
“Is this your card?!” Another Assassin showed off a playing card to bob, trying to peak his curiosity to get him to look, but he didn’t budge. “I-I mean, you should look. This is a super interesting magic trick!”
“Ooooh, noooooo!” An Assassin coyly started undoing the wrapping around her arms. “I got caught in a bush and now I’m becoming undreeeeessed! I sure hope nobody sees me in such a compromising positiooooooon!” She looked over expectantly, but bob didn’t care. Based on what I’ve read about humans, that should have worked. “Am I not doing this right?” She mumbled, “I guess I can’t expose my skin since I have fur, but… skin can’t be that appealing to humans, can it?” She was left scratching her head at this puzzle.
I whistled sharply as I approached the cart. “Okay, fun’s over. He’s my guest and I won’t let you harm him.”
“Psh, no way, Ribbee.” One of the Assassins behind him leaned forward, her arms resting in the back of bob’s head, crossed between his front and rear horns. “I don’t see a friendship token (there’s no such thing, that was just to make bob nervous), so this human-thing is ours to play with, and we will get him to open his eyes no matter what!”
“Yeah!” The other Assassins cried in unison.
I rolled my eyes, then spoke each Assassin’s name in turn. As I did, their ears either perked in embarrassment and they left in a hurry, or they got mad and flung insults my way for ruining their secret identity.
“I-idiot Soldier! Why would you tell him who I am?!”
After insulting me, it became too awkward to stay, and the Assassins slunk off. All they could do was hope that Bob wouldn’t be able to connect the names I said to their voices.
But from there I was able to get all the Workers in the back of the cart, and I sat up front with bob. The Workers were excited and couldn’t stop bouncing around. It was a tight fit for all of them, but we Slavani are small and cute, so it worked out.
“Alrighty,” I said, “off we go, back to the mansion!”
But bob didn’t move.
“Bob?”
Silence.
“It’s me, Ribbee. We can head back to the mansion.” I patted his back a few times.
Bob shook his head. “I don’t believe you. This is the third time you Assassins have tried this.”
“Huh. I guess that was clever of them. But can’t you tell by the voice? I’m your good buddy, Ribbee! Remember how that first day at the mansion, I made that delicious sandwich?” In the background, some of the Workers recoiled at the idea of my cooking.
“You could have been watching us at the mansion, you knowing that proves nothing. Also, you all sound alike so your voice means nothing.”
That… made me angry. The Workers were angry too. We sound nothing alike! How dare he? So I grabbed his wrists and started peeling them away from his face, while the Workers swarmed him to help. Gebbi and Xeres gripped his face to peel his eyes open, while the other Workers helped with his hands. While bob may have been stronger than each of us individually, Master designed us to work as a team, and it wasn’t long before his eyes were opened and he saw that I was indeed me.
He (after a lot of dirty looks) gave a quick apology to us all, and we quickly left for the mansion.