Queen Olympia has failed.

It doesn’t happen often so we’re gloating while we can.

Last year Queen Olympia announced her desire to break into the coffee market with domestically produced Olympian Brand Coffee Beans, grown in one of the tropical regions around Arcadia’s equator. The beans would be grown, harvested, roasted, and all of the proprietary bits and bobs would be added to make her coffee unique and flavorful.

With an investment of some 30 billion drachma (about 5 billion zloty) Arcadia built all of the necessary infrastructure and, last year, began shipping barrels of beans to foreign markets.

But Olympia is very late to the game and the coffee market has largely filled every niche.

Olympia Vanillight is a vanilla-flavored coffee pre-mixed with sugar and vanilla flavoring for a delightfully sweet taste. It doesn’t taste as good as the cirathan’s Vanilla Flavor Packets, which can be easily added to any type of coffee.

Olympia Black is a bitter dark roast coffee meant to be enjoyed without any sweeteners. The monsoorai’s Midnight Roast, Chocolate Roast, Sunset Roast, Oliviay Roast, Bark Roast, Capree Roast, and to be honest even the original Standard Roast all do the bitter flavor better.

Olympia Decaff (sic) has no caffeine and is just for the flavor. I’ve never understood the point, but the D’Sev love it and they own the market with hundreds of decaffeinated brands.

Olympia Double Shot has twice the caffeine as a normal cup of coffee. The hemlock colony on Vrakoli produces everything from double to nine times the amount of caffeine per sip. Though the Interstellar Commerce Guild forbids everything above four from being exported anywhere other than Hemlock.

There are many more examples, but novelty alone is what initially sold Olympia’s coffee, and everyone has since returned to their usual brands.