The Interstellar Tattoo Union of Firryan Talent has hosted their first annual competition for new artists.

Each of the 32 Tattoo Parlors operated by the ITUFT will host three days of events where young artists compete and be judged by a panel of experts. Because the ITU is such a prestigious and desired conglomerate, but they’ve limited expansion to keep the quality of their work high, this is how they plan to accept new workers going forward. Only the top scorers from each parlor will be accepted.

I was invited by the Pelrathan Parlor to loan my body as a canvas.

The logic, as explained to me by Head Mistress Cuuipel Skellof, is that the hardness of peldak muscles, and the tightness of our skin, provides the ideal conditions for artists to be judged in a fair and balanced way. Plus, even if a candidate horrifically messes up due to pressure of the competition, peldaks only need to wait a few decades for the mistake to disappear.

It made sense to me, so I and twelve other peldak men and women spent the last three days laying on our stomachs, backs, or reclining in chairs. Each competitor took turns applying these complex, elaborate designs, and most took hours to finish, and at several points I had multiple firryans working on me at once. The competitors were judged for endurance and consistency as well as dexterity and skill.

We peldaks ended the competitions looking like quilts, and we decided to do an impromptu show where we flexed and posed in front of the adoring audience. The competitors proudly stood with us, showing off their work.

A young man won the contest and was accepted into the Pelratha parlor as a trainee.

The other competitors will have another chance next year.